You Might Be Growing More Than You Realize

Growth often looks slow, uncertain, or even invisible while it’s happening. And because of that, it’s easy to believe nothing is changing.

This month, I’ve been exploring what it really means to trust the process—
especially when it doesn’t look like anything is working.

Why It Feels Like Nothing Is Happening

We tend to measure progress by what we can see.

Clear results.
Visible change.

Something we can point to and say, “It’s working.” But real growth doesn’t always show up that way. It often begins beneath the surface—in ways that are easy to miss.

There’s actually a reason for this. Our brains are wired to look for immediate, visible results—which is why slower, more meaningful growth can feel like it isn’t working,
even when it is.

Why It’s Hard to See Your Own Growth

A friend recently commented, “It is challenging to see ourselves clearly or to give ourselves credit.”

And she’s right.

We’re often much better at noticing what’s missing than recognizing what’s changing.

Psychologists often refer to this as a negativity bias—our tendency to focus more on what isn’t working than what is. Which makes subtle, positive change even easier to overlook.

Comparison Distorts the Process

Another friend shared, “Comparison is always a source of suffering.”

And while that might sound strong, there’s a lot of truth in it.

When we compare our path to someone else’s, we’re often comparing our internal experience to their external presentation. We don’t see their uncertainty.

Their slow seasons.
Their behind-the-scenes growth.

We only see what looks like progress. And in that comparison, we can start to believe we’re behind. But growth doesn’t follow a shared timeline.

Acknowledging that our path is different from someone else’s can feel like a real relief.

Recognizing What Growth Actually Looks Like

Growth doesn’t always look dramatic.

Sometimes it looks like:

• holding a boundary
• thinking more clearly
• responding differently

These shifts can feel small. But they’re not. They are the foundation of real change.

My Flower Essence Story

A few years ago, my friend, Ina, invited me to participate in a flower essence course she was taking. She needed someone to work with, and I was more than happy to say yes.

Ina lives on the East Coast, and I’m in the Rocky Mountains, so we did everything virtually.

In the first round, she asked about what was going on in my life—what I was experiencing, what felt challenging. She created a custom flower essence formula, explained what was in it, and what each essence was intended to support. I took it for a month, and then we had a follow-up conversation.

In the second round, she told me what was in the formula—but not how it was supposed to affect me.

In the third round, she didn’t tell me anything about the formula at all.

Each time we met for a follow-up, she asked thoughtful questions about how I was responding to situations in my life—how I was thinking, reacting, and feeling.

And each time, I was surprised. Not because something dramatic had happened.
But because, when I looked closely, I had changed. My responses were different.
My thinking felt lighter. Things that once triggered me didn’t in the same way.

But I wouldn’t have noticed it on my own. It was only through those conversations—pausing, reflecting, and being asked the right questions—that I could actually see the growth.

The third round was especially impactful. When Ina finally shared what she had included in the formula and what it was meant to support, it aligned almost perfectly with what I had experienced.

That experience stayed with me. Because it showed me something important:

We are often changing more than we realize. Not in big, dramatic ways.
But in small, steady shifts that are easy to overlook.

That’s part of why I value reflection so much now. Whether through journaling or simply pausing to look back, it gives us a way to see what’s actually shifting—
even when the change feels slow.

Because most of the time, growth doesn’t feel dramatic. It feels gradual.

And if we don’t take the time to notice it, we might miss just how far we’ve come.

A Real-Time Reminder

A recent experience brought this idea home for me in a very real way.

Over the past few months, I’ve been healing from a torn meniscus. Even walking was painful at one point, and something as simple as going for a hike—one of my favorite things—felt out of reach.

Healing didn’t happen all at once.

It was slow.
Repetitive.
Sometimes frustrating.

I was doing my physical therapy exercises consistently, trusting that something was improving—even when I couldn’t feel it yet.

And then one day, I went for a hike.

Hills. Steps. Wildflowers everywhere.

And what surprised me most… was how much had changed. I could walk without pain. Not because there had been one big moment of transformation, but because of all the small, consistent steps that added up over time.

It reminded me of something simple, but easy to forget:

Just because you can’t see or feel progress right away doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

Trusting the Process

One of the most important things I’ve been reminded of this month is:

Not every moment of growth requires immediate action.

In fact, real change often depends on our ability to stay with something long enough for it to unfold—rather than rushing to resolve it.

Sometimes the work is simply to stay with it. To allow something to unfold
without rushing to fix, change, or resolve it.

Growth doesn’t always need to be accelerated. Sometimes it just needs to be allowed.

You don’t have to see everything changing for growth to be happening.

You don’t have to rush what is still unfolding. And you’re not behind.

You may simply be in a part of the process that is quieter…but no less meaningful.

Sometimes the process isn’t asking you to do more—just to notice what’s already changing.