I don’t know about you, but I didn’t learn much about how to create happiness when I was growing up. In my family we didn’t talk about emotions. I didn’t learn about emotions in school either. In fact, after several tragedies in my family, I was told to “buck up and be strong for your mother”. I learned to stuff my emotions, which only made things worse.
As a result, I didn’t know that happiness was a choice. If things went well, then I felt happy and when things went wrong in my life, I was miserable. My life was like a roller coaster and I had no control.
At a deep level I knew that life didn’t need to be like this. I remembered early in my childhood when the world felt magical and I believed in fairies. So, I began a journey of personal growth.
I started learning about the Law of Attraction and I began realizing that I had much more control over my world than I thought. When I added theories from quantum physics, I began to understand that this belief was supported by science. As I wrote in my book, First Create Happiness and the Rest Will Follow, “Can your thoughts – or your consciousness – affect your reality? Quantum physics says it can.”
Even though I knew that more was possible I was still on that emotional roller coaster. Learning how to change my emotions was easier than I thought but I had to be persistent with it. Positive psychology is filled with easy techniques that work. And they are supported by research.
When I began to consistently apply these techniques, I got great results. My understanding of how to create more happiness in my life shifted. “… happiness comes from inside you, not from an external event or person. Your thoughts determine your state of mind, and you are the only person who can control your thoughts.” (First Create Happiness and the Rest Will Follow)
Are you on that emotional roller coaster? Or are you stuck in a life that is controlled by forces outside of yourself?
“If you feel stuck, it’s because you are. By definition, you are in stasis, or a state of suspended animation. You’re stagnating waiting on that special something or someone to shift you into salvation. What if that someone is you?” (First Create Happiness and the Rest Will Follow)
You are the only one who can create your happiness.
In my book and in my classes I teach three steps that, when used regularly, can make a huge difference in your life.
SHIFT – decrease the negativity
SAVOR – increase the positivity
SHARE – spread the goodness through gratitude and kindness
“Research has shown that the difference between people who are flourishing and those who aren’t, lies in the magnitude of positive emotions that they are able to self-generate from every-day pleasant activities.”
Your happiness comes from within. You do not need to be dependent on outside circumstances in order to be happy.
Being happy is more than just feeling good. Positive psychologists tell us that “Optimistic thoughts and feelings lead a person to notice the good things, make positive comments, and encourage others about the future being bright. Genuine optimism is associate with many positive life outcomes, including good physical health, satisfying relationships, and career success.” (Fordeard and Seligman)
Other benefits include: increased trust and compassion, a buffer against depression, more resilience or resourcefulness, and quicker recovery from stress.
The first step to creating happiness from within is to recognize that this is a possibility. I am reminded of a quote from Dr. Joe Dispenza:
“Change your thoughts and you change your energy. Change your energy and you change the world.”
More ways to create happiness
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